Relax

OMG. Relaxing to me is an anomaly. I have never been able to relax and I have never made the effort to do so. I am quite perplexed at how I can manage to be so busy. I start off every week with the intention of living quietly and finding some time to relax, maybe catch up on a TV show or two. But if I sit down on a Sunday night to think about the events that may transpire that week, I go through every day in my head and I literally get exhausted. Take for example this week:

I work everyday until 6 or 6:30 p.m., which is already at least 50 hours of my week, including travel time.

After work on Monday: need to get dinner done or at least plan to make dinner, had to make a trip to the store to look for Christmas stocking stuffers, emails to check at home, check Facebook, write blog, mail to go through, start working on Christmas cards, computer problems getting labels out, finish making baby shower invitations for my sister-in-law’s baby shower in January.

After work on Tuesday: find time to make or get dinner, need to finish Christmas cards, need to finish and address baby shower invitations, had a meeting to go to after work, had to go to the store to look for a coat, some Christmas shopping, check emails on computer, check Facebook, write blog.

After work on Wednesday: still haven’t finished my Christmas cards, have some Christmas shopping, baby shower invitations are done and sent, check emails on computer, check Facebook, write blog, shopped online. Got a call for dinner and drinks with friends -- almost any day can consist of a spontaneous event that I didn’t plan for.

After work on Thursday: will be attending a Christmas pageant for a friend’s son, probably having dinner with them, maybe finish Christmas cards, catch up on emails, prepare for the weekend.

After work on Friday: almost always will go out, have fun with friends. This Friday my son comes home from college for winter break, that will be an event in itself, have to clean his room and stop using it as a closet (I probably should have cleaned it earlier in the week).

Saturday: help dad at the Family Business all day, plan for something in the evening, I usually go out with friends, dinner, drinks, and / or movies, sometimes have to go to family events, but not this Saturday.

Sunday: take a breath, stop for a minute, catch up on any household needs, groceries, laundry, maybe some TV, and plan for the following week, unless something else comes up, including a family or friends get-together.

Everyone tells me I live life way too fast. I just have never liked routine or structure. I trained myself to always have something to do or somewhere to go. I am literally never home. Any TV I watch is recorded so I can skip the commercials, or sometimes I don’t even watch anything at all because my DVR is full to capacity and shows get erased. I hate to miss anything that life may throw my way and sleep is for when I get old.

So, I don’t know what relaxing is. Even if I am on vacation, I have to have plans and something to fill every minute of every day. I want to enjoy my life and fill it to the brim. Some days, though, it is overflowing.

~A