Trust
I was inspired to write this morning for many reasons. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the trust I have for the people I choose to surround myself with in my life.
I have the type of personality that I do instantly trust people, I give them the benefit of the doubt initially, much to my detriment. But thankfully, I have also been blessed with an acute gut instinct.
As the famous words say: Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
I’ve trusted my inner self more than I have trusted anyone else. I know how to read human behavior; I can analyze their actions, their words, their thoughts, and understand the reasons for the choices they make. The career I chose is because of that sensitivity to the cognitive mind, I have the ability to separate myself and stand back to see the story that develops in a person. Don’t get me wrong, I am human too; I make mistakes all the time. I can sense right from wrong, but sometimes I do make the wrong choices. Luckily, I can choose to learn from those mistakes to stop myself from repeating them.
I am fortunate to have a select few friends and family members I trust with my life. I know plenty of people, but I have layers of trust in which they exist in my world. I’ve also lived very guarded because I know that anything can change at anytime. People can change. I know this because I know what betrayal is. I have been betrayed and I have betrayed people in my past.
To err is human, I understand, and yes, I know, forgiveness is divine.
Space
Life is too short, I have lived my life doing the things I want to do because I want to do them, whether they made sense or not. I cherish every second and I don’t want to waste any time. But sometimes you need space and distance from the people in your life to be able to stand back and see what it is that makes us feel close to them. We have to be able to see what makes us trust them and need them to be a part of our lives. It’s important for me to feel safe and make others feel safe. When I feel uncomfortable or I don’t trust something, it’s because I don’t feel safe.
I have been a listener to the woes of others for the majority of my existence, but with that, I have absorbed the complexities that make up who they are to be able to learn through them the complexities that make up who I am.
So now I am pausing in my life for a moment to see what it is that needs adjusting. I am looking at how people have been treating me, the reasons why they need me, and the reasons why I need them. I want to see if I am making them happy and if they are making me happy.
Every relationship has to work for both parties, no matter what type of relationship it is. Whether you’re friends, cousins, siblings, parent-child, husbands, wives, dating, etc, every piece of the puzzle that makes the relationship whole has to be an important priority. Relationships break when the pieces aren’t working together harmoniously, those pieces may include trust, love, understanding, selflessness, happiness, peacefulness, ambition, communication, and whatever other pieces that have defined that relationship. Every element is significant and yes, I do look at the different pieces to make sure everything is in synch and if I am doing my part to keep the relationship solid.
I like taking a step back and allowing some space between my relationships. It allows me to think and cherish that person more. It allows me to remember the reasons why they are important to me and how I can make the relationship better. It helps me see the good in those people and why I need them, it also allows me to see if I have been good to them.
Sometimes the space ends in a parting of ways, and my thoughts of them are more nostalgic. Sometimes the space allows us to become better people and we cherish the roles we play in each other’s lives. Either way, I like people to know that I do think about everything, I do analyze the reasons why things happen, I do take comfort in the choices we make, and I do want to learn from mistakes to make our lives even better.
I do trust my gut instinct, that’s who I am.
Peace.
~A
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Inspiration
Inspiration. What a strong word. It’s amazing how much power the word ‘Inspiration’ can carry. It can make us become better people, fulfill a destiny, or change the course of our lives. So do we wait for inspiration to come to us, do we allow ourselves to be inspired, or do we make inspiration happen?
Inspiration evokes an emotion deep within us. Sometimes we spend most of our lives waiting for that inspiration to fill us with the motivation to do something meaningful, but will we recognize it when it hits us and when it doesn’t come, how long do we wait?
I have always maintained that I am inspired by everything and everyone around me. Perhaps too much. I can be easily influenced to check out a new movie, a new book, a new food, or a new product. But is it really inspiration or just another way of being open minded about all the things that make up life?
Inspiration and motivation can go hand in hand. If I am inspired by someone who ran a marathon, will I be motivated to run a marathon too? Or if I am inspired by a person who has found the strength to fight a devastating illness, will I be motivated to do something for people battling the disease? People do everyday. I hear it all the time. I think it’s a beautiful thing to be inspired by something or someone and to be motivated to do something about it so that for a brief moment that inspiration can mean something.
I must have been in 7th grade the moment I knew that books and writers inspired me. Where else could I drift away from my reality to a far away land? I remember the exact moment I was inspired to want to write. I read “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost. I was mesmerized by the power of his words and the fact that millions of people were reading his words even though he had written it in 1920. How wonderful it felt to know that someone can be immortalized by writing down their thoughts. It was so inspiring. The poem has always been a reflection of my life and the way I make choices.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
After that there was no stopping me. I absorbed the works of hundreds of writers and poets and I had a passion for the classics. My favorite novel will always be “The Count of Monte Cristo” by Alexandre Dumas, it’s a great story of inspiration and perseverance despite persecution. My son is named after the author. I have since been inspired to write hundreds of poems and start many stories myself, I had the drive and the motivation to pursue my craft and not cast it aside. I wanted the decade of my twenties to be about the rewards of fulfilling my writing dream.
Instead, life happened, and my choices changed the course of my dreams.
It’s never too late though, right? That’s what everyone says. Will I find the inspiration again to motivate myself to pen the words that live inside my head?
Stay tuned.
~A
Inspiration evokes an emotion deep within us. Sometimes we spend most of our lives waiting for that inspiration to fill us with the motivation to do something meaningful, but will we recognize it when it hits us and when it doesn’t come, how long do we wait?
I have always maintained that I am inspired by everything and everyone around me. Perhaps too much. I can be easily influenced to check out a new movie, a new book, a new food, or a new product. But is it really inspiration or just another way of being open minded about all the things that make up life?
Inspiration and motivation can go hand in hand. If I am inspired by someone who ran a marathon, will I be motivated to run a marathon too? Or if I am inspired by a person who has found the strength to fight a devastating illness, will I be motivated to do something for people battling the disease? People do everyday. I hear it all the time. I think it’s a beautiful thing to be inspired by something or someone and to be motivated to do something about it so that for a brief moment that inspiration can mean something.
I must have been in 7th grade the moment I knew that books and writers inspired me. Where else could I drift away from my reality to a far away land? I remember the exact moment I was inspired to want to write. I read “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost. I was mesmerized by the power of his words and the fact that millions of people were reading his words even though he had written it in 1920. How wonderful it felt to know that someone can be immortalized by writing down their thoughts. It was so inspiring. The poem has always been a reflection of my life and the way I make choices.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
After that there was no stopping me. I absorbed the works of hundreds of writers and poets and I had a passion for the classics. My favorite novel will always be “The Count of Monte Cristo” by Alexandre Dumas, it’s a great story of inspiration and perseverance despite persecution. My son is named after the author. I have since been inspired to write hundreds of poems and start many stories myself, I had the drive and the motivation to pursue my craft and not cast it aside. I wanted the decade of my twenties to be about the rewards of fulfilling my writing dream.
Instead, life happened, and my choices changed the course of my dreams.
It’s never too late though, right? That’s what everyone says. Will I find the inspiration again to motivate myself to pen the words that live inside my head?
Stay tuned.
~A
Monday, February 1, 2010
The Journey of Our Lives
We move through life with a sense of wonder and we really don’t know what is in store for us, because the future is constantly changing. We have heard it many times, tomorrow is not promised and we can make plans for the future, but things can be taken away in an instant.
What I love most about life and the people I’ve gotten to know through the years, is that I get to witness what people do with the gifts that God gave us. I am not overly religious, but I do believe in a higher power and purpose. No one is here by accident, and the beginning, middle, and end of our lives are not written in stone. We have our free will, our internal conscience, and the power to set the course of our destinies. I get inspired easily and am constantly changing because everything to me is a marvel: the sad moments, the happy celebrations, and the quiet peace that comes from my inner solace when I ponder my own destiny.
So how do we find the journey of our lives? How do we know what is good for us and what is good for others? For everyone it’s different, because we do live in a world made up of unique personalities, even if when it comes down to it, we are all somewhat within the boundaries of a “type.”
Some of us are extroverts or introverts, some of us can be judgmental, self-righteous, ego-maniacs, or type “A” personalities. Others of us can be pleasers, goal-oriented, self-sufficient, independent, driven, passive, meek, or humble. Then there are many of us who can be clingy, complainers, procrastinators, aggressive, or angry. But I think that all those traits do complement each other. How else could we all possibly learn from each other and grow, even if sometimes we just can’t get along?
Relationships are a balance of personalities. At our places of employment we have to work with people every day who fit any of those traits, we have to get along, or at least try to get along, with people who normally may not be people we interact with on a regular basis.
Friendships and love relationships are more complex. Those relationships require a lot more time and investment. We know initially if the person is someone we want to get to know or not, we know if there is chemistry or if we found something in each other that just clicked. That initial driver is what prompts a relationship to develop, and the parties involved, given how much time they invest into it, will be the ones who can get to know each other the best.
Our first real relationships are with our parents; they are pretty much responsible for who we will grow up to be. Although it may sound that the whole weight of the world is on a parent’s shoulders, the reality is that as parents, we are responsible for teaching our children how to build future relationships. Our parents, who also have personality traits of their own, will influence how our traits develop, but it isn’t guaranteed. Sometimes, despite a parent’s best efforts, a child can choose a whole different course for his life, whether for good or for bad.
I believe that our parents and our childhood may initially teach us who we could grow up to be. But somewhere along the way, once we can ascertain what the expectations are for our lives, that course could change. We can gain control and decide what we want out of life for ourselves. But nothing is etched in stone; we can all change, stay the same, or peel layers of our own traits to fit the stage of life that we’re in.
Hope is in everything we do. We can allow people to hurt us, to love us, to trust us, to destroy us, but when we figure out the moral to our own stories, we decide how we were affected by those people, how we pick ourselves up, and how we stay encouraged. Only we can decide who we are and if we are the people we want to live with for the rest of our lives.
~A
What I love most about life and the people I’ve gotten to know through the years, is that I get to witness what people do with the gifts that God gave us. I am not overly religious, but I do believe in a higher power and purpose. No one is here by accident, and the beginning, middle, and end of our lives are not written in stone. We have our free will, our internal conscience, and the power to set the course of our destinies. I get inspired easily and am constantly changing because everything to me is a marvel: the sad moments, the happy celebrations, and the quiet peace that comes from my inner solace when I ponder my own destiny.
So how do we find the journey of our lives? How do we know what is good for us and what is good for others? For everyone it’s different, because we do live in a world made up of unique personalities, even if when it comes down to it, we are all somewhat within the boundaries of a “type.”
Some of us are extroverts or introverts, some of us can be judgmental, self-righteous, ego-maniacs, or type “A” personalities. Others of us can be pleasers, goal-oriented, self-sufficient, independent, driven, passive, meek, or humble. Then there are many of us who can be clingy, complainers, procrastinators, aggressive, or angry. But I think that all those traits do complement each other. How else could we all possibly learn from each other and grow, even if sometimes we just can’t get along?
Relationships are a balance of personalities. At our places of employment we have to work with people every day who fit any of those traits, we have to get along, or at least try to get along, with people who normally may not be people we interact with on a regular basis.
Friendships and love relationships are more complex. Those relationships require a lot more time and investment. We know initially if the person is someone we want to get to know or not, we know if there is chemistry or if we found something in each other that just clicked. That initial driver is what prompts a relationship to develop, and the parties involved, given how much time they invest into it, will be the ones who can get to know each other the best.
Our first real relationships are with our parents; they are pretty much responsible for who we will grow up to be. Although it may sound that the whole weight of the world is on a parent’s shoulders, the reality is that as parents, we are responsible for teaching our children how to build future relationships. Our parents, who also have personality traits of their own, will influence how our traits develop, but it isn’t guaranteed. Sometimes, despite a parent’s best efforts, a child can choose a whole different course for his life, whether for good or for bad.
I believe that our parents and our childhood may initially teach us who we could grow up to be. But somewhere along the way, once we can ascertain what the expectations are for our lives, that course could change. We can gain control and decide what we want out of life for ourselves. But nothing is etched in stone; we can all change, stay the same, or peel layers of our own traits to fit the stage of life that we’re in.
Hope is in everything we do. We can allow people to hurt us, to love us, to trust us, to destroy us, but when we figure out the moral to our own stories, we decide how we were affected by those people, how we pick ourselves up, and how we stay encouraged. Only we can decide who we are and if we are the people we want to live with for the rest of our lives.
~A
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
What’s in a Race?
Many Americans today have more than one culture, ethnicity, or race flowing through their veins. For some, their race is what defines them or makes them unique. The issue of race is an interesting topic, and I don’t really think about it too much, except yesterday it became obvious that I felt like someone without a race.
Since I can only speak from my experience as a Mexican-American person, I must say that I actually find it difficult sometimes to balance my life on both sides of the fence. I am loyal and respectful to the reasons why my ancestors chose to come to the United States in the 1960s and I am grateful to have the opportunities I have today, but I also feel a sense of reverence to the history and plight of the Mexican people.
Those of my generation and after have had great opportunities to be able to live and prosper in this country, but there are also many who may question my opinions, struggles, and choices. I have a strong need to be a person of value who can contribute to this society in more ways than one. No one is perfect, none of this is personal, and I have nothing against my fellow Mexicans, but it saddens me to see that many of us still live within our cultural limitations and fall within the stereotypes that prejudices have defined for us.
I will address the issues I have with our lack of growth as a people at another time, but for now, I would like to write about the fact that I felt like a person without a race yesterday. At work, we had to fill out new personal data forms, and I encountered this section on the form:
Please check the appropriate category:
Ethnicity:
Hispanic or Latino ___
Not Hispanic or Latino ___
Race:
Black or African American ___
White ___
American Indian or Alaskan Native ___
Asian ___
Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander ___
Two or More Races ___
You probably see my dilemma, and you may think that it’s cut and dry. I can choose my ethnicity as Hispanic or Latino and I can pick one of the races listed or leave the question blank. But it’s not that easy for me, because I am Mexican-American, my parents and grandparents are all from Mexican descent, so none of these options make sense to me. So this intrigued me and I did a little research. According the U.S. Census Bureau, the form at work was missing this category:
Peace Out for now.
~A
Since I can only speak from my experience as a Mexican-American person, I must say that I actually find it difficult sometimes to balance my life on both sides of the fence. I am loyal and respectful to the reasons why my ancestors chose to come to the United States in the 1960s and I am grateful to have the opportunities I have today, but I also feel a sense of reverence to the history and plight of the Mexican people.
Those of my generation and after have had great opportunities to be able to live and prosper in this country, but there are also many who may question my opinions, struggles, and choices. I have a strong need to be a person of value who can contribute to this society in more ways than one. No one is perfect, none of this is personal, and I have nothing against my fellow Mexicans, but it saddens me to see that many of us still live within our cultural limitations and fall within the stereotypes that prejudices have defined for us.
I will address the issues I have with our lack of growth as a people at another time, but for now, I would like to write about the fact that I felt like a person without a race yesterday. At work, we had to fill out new personal data forms, and I encountered this section on the form:
Please check the appropriate category:
Ethnicity:
Hispanic or Latino ___
Not Hispanic or Latino ___
Race:
Black or African American ___
White ___
American Indian or Alaskan Native ___
Asian ___
Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander ___
Two or More Races ___
You probably see my dilemma, and you may think that it’s cut and dry. I can choose my ethnicity as Hispanic or Latino and I can pick one of the races listed or leave the question blank. But it’s not that easy for me, because I am Mexican-American, my parents and grandparents are all from Mexican descent, so none of these options make sense to me. So this intrigued me and I did a little research. According the U.S. Census Bureau, the form at work was missing this category:
- Some Other Race. Includes all other responses not included in the "White", "Black or African American", "American Indian and Alaska Native", "Asian" and "Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander" race categories described above. Respondents providing write-in entries such as multiracial, mixed, interracial, We-Sort, or a Hispanic/Latino group (for example, Mexican, Puerto Rican, or Cuban) in the "Some other race" category are included here.
Peace Out for now.
~A
Monday, January 4, 2010
The Spontaneity Factor
Happy New Year!
I’ve heard a few adjectives about myself in the last couple of weeks, and I wanted to address the root of those comments. I have been told that I am “negative,” “rebellious,” “unstructured,” "impulsive," and “unruly.”
I beg to differ.
I grew up with rules all my life. I was taught at an early age what time bed time was, what time dinner was, what the duties of the week were, versus the activities left for the weekend. I grew up in a Mexican-American Catholic household, so there were always rules! There was a time and place for everything… no T.V., no soda, few friends, no phone calls, no visiting people’s houses, no after-school activities, always do my chores, be respectful, respect my elders, and always know what was appropriate for a "girl" to do and not to do.
So I have all those invaluable lessons ingrained in my inner core. It’s just that something happened when I left home at age 16. I made up my own rules as I went along.
I do know what is appropriate.
I do respect those who respect me.
I am sensitive to the needs of others.
I listen attentively to people’s problems.
I offer advice when asked.
I respect others’ routines.
I value education and work ethic.
I am a perfectionist.
I think I am a good person, overall.
But... I am also spontaneous, lively, a little on the wild side, and I like to have fun. So…
I like to go grocery shopping at midnight.
I go to restaurants in the middle of the week.
I get in the car and travel 100 miles without hesitation, if I have to.
I can get on a plane within a few hours notice.
I can adjust my sleep – less or more – depending on what I have time for.
I plan and readjust plans all the time.
I visit friends on a Monday evening.
I record/DVR any shows I want to watch and fast forward through all the commercials.
I don’t have a set bed time hour.
I don’t have a routine.
I go to the movies in the middle of the week.
I don’t set my life in stone.
I can do almost anything in a minute’s notice.
I adapt quickly to change.
I try not to sweat the small stuff.
I encourage others to be spontaneous.
I have a “live and let live” philosophy.
I believe that as long as I am living a healthy life and not hurting anyone, there is no reason for anyone to begrudge my bohemian lifestyle. I crave change and have a short attention span, so spontaneity is my comfort zone. I feel restrained by routine if I were to follow the rules set in my childhood. So, in 2010, as I factor in my goals for change, one thing I will not let go of is my need for freedom.
~A
I’ve heard a few adjectives about myself in the last couple of weeks, and I wanted to address the root of those comments. I have been told that I am “negative,” “rebellious,” “unstructured,” "impulsive," and “unruly.”
I beg to differ.
I grew up with rules all my life. I was taught at an early age what time bed time was, what time dinner was, what the duties of the week were, versus the activities left for the weekend. I grew up in a Mexican-American Catholic household, so there were always rules! There was a time and place for everything… no T.V., no soda, few friends, no phone calls, no visiting people’s houses, no after-school activities, always do my chores, be respectful, respect my elders, and always know what was appropriate for a "girl" to do and not to do.
So I have all those invaluable lessons ingrained in my inner core. It’s just that something happened when I left home at age 16. I made up my own rules as I went along.
I do know what is appropriate.
I do respect those who respect me.
I am sensitive to the needs of others.
I listen attentively to people’s problems.
I offer advice when asked.
I respect others’ routines.
I value education and work ethic.
I am a perfectionist.
I think I am a good person, overall.
But... I am also spontaneous, lively, a little on the wild side, and I like to have fun. So…
I like to go grocery shopping at midnight.
I go to restaurants in the middle of the week.
I get in the car and travel 100 miles without hesitation, if I have to.
I can get on a plane within a few hours notice.
I can adjust my sleep – less or more – depending on what I have time for.
I plan and readjust plans all the time.
I visit friends on a Monday evening.
I record/DVR any shows I want to watch and fast forward through all the commercials.
I don’t have a set bed time hour.
I don’t have a routine.
I go to the movies in the middle of the week.
I don’t set my life in stone.
I can do almost anything in a minute’s notice.
I adapt quickly to change.
I try not to sweat the small stuff.
I encourage others to be spontaneous.
I have a “live and let live” philosophy.
I believe that as long as I am living a healthy life and not hurting anyone, there is no reason for anyone to begrudge my bohemian lifestyle. I crave change and have a short attention span, so spontaneity is my comfort zone. I feel restrained by routine if I were to follow the rules set in my childhood. So, in 2010, as I factor in my goals for change, one thing I will not let go of is my need for freedom.
~A
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