I was listening to a song called “Price Tag” this morning and it got me to thinking. The words essentially say, “It's not about the money”… “forget about the Price Tag”… “money can't buy us happiness.” So as I am driving to a job I happen to love, listening to this song, I just wondered, has it all been worth it? In the end, did I get what I wanted?
The song makes a great point, money can’t buy us happiness, yes, money allows for us to have the material things we want. It provides a sense of comfort knowing there is money in the bank, not having to worry about what will happen tomorrow if there isn’t enough. But it’s all a tricky road and a slippery slope, because we all measure happiness differently. Some people may want it all; others may want only part of having it all. Either way, what does having it all mean? When will we get it? And will it ever be enough?
For me, happiness has always been about being the best me I can be.
So what makes me the best me? My first role in life was to be a good daughter, I am finally comfortable with the daughter that I became, it took a long time to get to this point and there are times I question if I have done enough to make my parents proud, but overall, I am ok with that part of me.
My second role has been to be a good sister. I don’t know if I am always the best sister, but I am comfortable enough with who I am and the examples I tried to set in order to mentor my brother and help him become the best he can be, so that I don’t question that anymore.
My most significant role has been as a mother. I could not have predicted the outcome, but raising my son has been filled with an insurmountable amount of love, pride, and devotion paved with some pain, sweat, and tears. He is everything to me and this is the role I value the most. I often question if I did enough and of course I am haunted with tinges of what I could have done better. But I am only human, and how he grew up and what we’ve learned together along the way cannot be erased or taken away. My role was to bring this little blessed being into this world and teach him how to be the best he can be. He has surpassed my expectations and I am grateful to have been a part of it.
The role I always felt most connected to, and some people may not understand this, was that of a successful career person. I valued and embraced that part of me early on, and I worked extremely hard to achieve it. I went to school for a long time and fought through so much adversity to make it happen. I would not exchange that part of me for anything, and I do not have one single regret for having prioritized this part of me. What my career means to me is indescribable, to the point that if it was stripped away from me, I could never understand who I was supposed to be.
I’ve lost some battles, compromised some things, struggled with relationships, gave up on some dreams, but all in all, happiness does fill my soul and I am embracing the rewards that I have earned because of the choices I made. Of course I am not wealthy, of course there are things I wish I had or could have done differently. Of course I have financial commitments, mortgage, debts, etc., but I don’t dwell on those. I didn’t get here because of those things; I chose to have those obligations because of the type of life I chose to live.
Money doesn’t buy you happiness. Happiness is when the things you’ve accomplished in life, even the little things, fulfill you beyond expectations. It’s when the results of your efforts outweigh the losses, when there is a sense of peace when you sleep at night, and when the little happy surprises fill your soul. That’s when you know it’s enough, and there is no price tag on that.
~A
Friday, April 1, 2011
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Trusting My Instincts
Trust
I was inspired to write this morning for many reasons. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the trust I have for the people I choose to surround myself with in my life.
I have the type of personality that I do instantly trust people, I give them the benefit of the doubt initially, much to my detriment. But thankfully, I have also been blessed with an acute gut instinct.
As the famous words say: Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
I’ve trusted my inner self more than I have trusted anyone else. I know how to read human behavior; I can analyze their actions, their words, their thoughts, and understand the reasons for the choices they make. The career I chose is because of that sensitivity to the cognitive mind, I have the ability to separate myself and stand back to see the story that develops in a person. Don’t get me wrong, I am human too; I make mistakes all the time. I can sense right from wrong, but sometimes I do make the wrong choices. Luckily, I can choose to learn from those mistakes to stop myself from repeating them.
I am fortunate to have a select few friends and family members I trust with my life. I know plenty of people, but I have layers of trust in which they exist in my world. I’ve also lived very guarded because I know that anything can change at anytime. People can change. I know this because I know what betrayal is. I have been betrayed and I have betrayed people in my past.
To err is human, I understand, and yes, I know, forgiveness is divine.
Space
Life is too short, I have lived my life doing the things I want to do because I want to do them, whether they made sense or not. I cherish every second and I don’t want to waste any time. But sometimes you need space and distance from the people in your life to be able to stand back and see what it is that makes us feel close to them. We have to be able to see what makes us trust them and need them to be a part of our lives. It’s important for me to feel safe and make others feel safe. When I feel uncomfortable or I don’t trust something, it’s because I don’t feel safe.
I have been a listener to the woes of others for the majority of my existence, but with that, I have absorbed the complexities that make up who they are to be able to learn through them the complexities that make up who I am.
So now I am pausing in my life for a moment to see what it is that needs adjusting. I am looking at how people have been treating me, the reasons why they need me, and the reasons why I need them. I want to see if I am making them happy and if they are making me happy.
Every relationship has to work for both parties, no matter what type of relationship it is. Whether you’re friends, cousins, siblings, parent-child, husbands, wives, dating, etc, every piece of the puzzle that makes the relationship whole has to be an important priority. Relationships break when the pieces aren’t working together harmoniously, those pieces may include trust, love, understanding, selflessness, happiness, peacefulness, ambition, communication, and whatever other pieces that have defined that relationship. Every element is significant and yes, I do look at the different pieces to make sure everything is in synch and if I am doing my part to keep the relationship solid.
I like taking a step back and allowing some space between my relationships. It allows me to think and cherish that person more. It allows me to remember the reasons why they are important to me and how I can make the relationship better. It helps me see the good in those people and why I need them, it also allows me to see if I have been good to them.
Sometimes the space ends in a parting of ways, and my thoughts of them are more nostalgic. Sometimes the space allows us to become better people and we cherish the roles we play in each other’s lives. Either way, I like people to know that I do think about everything, I do analyze the reasons why things happen, I do take comfort in the choices we make, and I do want to learn from mistakes to make our lives even better.
I do trust my gut instinct, that’s who I am.
Peace.
~A
I was inspired to write this morning for many reasons. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the trust I have for the people I choose to surround myself with in my life.
I have the type of personality that I do instantly trust people, I give them the benefit of the doubt initially, much to my detriment. But thankfully, I have also been blessed with an acute gut instinct.
As the famous words say: Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
I’ve trusted my inner self more than I have trusted anyone else. I know how to read human behavior; I can analyze their actions, their words, their thoughts, and understand the reasons for the choices they make. The career I chose is because of that sensitivity to the cognitive mind, I have the ability to separate myself and stand back to see the story that develops in a person. Don’t get me wrong, I am human too; I make mistakes all the time. I can sense right from wrong, but sometimes I do make the wrong choices. Luckily, I can choose to learn from those mistakes to stop myself from repeating them.
I am fortunate to have a select few friends and family members I trust with my life. I know plenty of people, but I have layers of trust in which they exist in my world. I’ve also lived very guarded because I know that anything can change at anytime. People can change. I know this because I know what betrayal is. I have been betrayed and I have betrayed people in my past.
To err is human, I understand, and yes, I know, forgiveness is divine.
Space
Life is too short, I have lived my life doing the things I want to do because I want to do them, whether they made sense or not. I cherish every second and I don’t want to waste any time. But sometimes you need space and distance from the people in your life to be able to stand back and see what it is that makes us feel close to them. We have to be able to see what makes us trust them and need them to be a part of our lives. It’s important for me to feel safe and make others feel safe. When I feel uncomfortable or I don’t trust something, it’s because I don’t feel safe.
I have been a listener to the woes of others for the majority of my existence, but with that, I have absorbed the complexities that make up who they are to be able to learn through them the complexities that make up who I am.
So now I am pausing in my life for a moment to see what it is that needs adjusting. I am looking at how people have been treating me, the reasons why they need me, and the reasons why I need them. I want to see if I am making them happy and if they are making me happy.
Every relationship has to work for both parties, no matter what type of relationship it is. Whether you’re friends, cousins, siblings, parent-child, husbands, wives, dating, etc, every piece of the puzzle that makes the relationship whole has to be an important priority. Relationships break when the pieces aren’t working together harmoniously, those pieces may include trust, love, understanding, selflessness, happiness, peacefulness, ambition, communication, and whatever other pieces that have defined that relationship. Every element is significant and yes, I do look at the different pieces to make sure everything is in synch and if I am doing my part to keep the relationship solid.
I like taking a step back and allowing some space between my relationships. It allows me to think and cherish that person more. It allows me to remember the reasons why they are important to me and how I can make the relationship better. It helps me see the good in those people and why I need them, it also allows me to see if I have been good to them.
Sometimes the space ends in a parting of ways, and my thoughts of them are more nostalgic. Sometimes the space allows us to become better people and we cherish the roles we play in each other’s lives. Either way, I like people to know that I do think about everything, I do analyze the reasons why things happen, I do take comfort in the choices we make, and I do want to learn from mistakes to make our lives even better.
I do trust my gut instinct, that’s who I am.
Peace.
~A
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Inspiration
Inspiration. What a strong word. It’s amazing how much power the word ‘Inspiration’ can carry. It can make us become better people, fulfill a destiny, or change the course of our lives. So do we wait for inspiration to come to us, do we allow ourselves to be inspired, or do we make inspiration happen?
Inspiration evokes an emotion deep within us. Sometimes we spend most of our lives waiting for that inspiration to fill us with the motivation to do something meaningful, but will we recognize it when it hits us and when it doesn’t come, how long do we wait?
I have always maintained that I am inspired by everything and everyone around me. Perhaps too much. I can be easily influenced to check out a new movie, a new book, a new food, or a new product. But is it really inspiration or just another way of being open minded about all the things that make up life?
Inspiration and motivation can go hand in hand. If I am inspired by someone who ran a marathon, will I be motivated to run a marathon too? Or if I am inspired by a person who has found the strength to fight a devastating illness, will I be motivated to do something for people battling the disease? People do everyday. I hear it all the time. I think it’s a beautiful thing to be inspired by something or someone and to be motivated to do something about it so that for a brief moment that inspiration can mean something.
I must have been in 7th grade the moment I knew that books and writers inspired me. Where else could I drift away from my reality to a far away land? I remember the exact moment I was inspired to want to write. I read “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost. I was mesmerized by the power of his words and the fact that millions of people were reading his words even though he had written it in 1920. How wonderful it felt to know that someone can be immortalized by writing down their thoughts. It was so inspiring. The poem has always been a reflection of my life and the way I make choices.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
After that there was no stopping me. I absorbed the works of hundreds of writers and poets and I had a passion for the classics. My favorite novel will always be “The Count of Monte Cristo” by Alexandre Dumas, it’s a great story of inspiration and perseverance despite persecution. My son is named after the author. I have since been inspired to write hundreds of poems and start many stories myself, I had the drive and the motivation to pursue my craft and not cast it aside. I wanted the decade of my twenties to be about the rewards of fulfilling my writing dream.
Instead, life happened, and my choices changed the course of my dreams.
It’s never too late though, right? That’s what everyone says. Will I find the inspiration again to motivate myself to pen the words that live inside my head?
Stay tuned.
~A
Inspiration evokes an emotion deep within us. Sometimes we spend most of our lives waiting for that inspiration to fill us with the motivation to do something meaningful, but will we recognize it when it hits us and when it doesn’t come, how long do we wait?
I have always maintained that I am inspired by everything and everyone around me. Perhaps too much. I can be easily influenced to check out a new movie, a new book, a new food, or a new product. But is it really inspiration or just another way of being open minded about all the things that make up life?
Inspiration and motivation can go hand in hand. If I am inspired by someone who ran a marathon, will I be motivated to run a marathon too? Or if I am inspired by a person who has found the strength to fight a devastating illness, will I be motivated to do something for people battling the disease? People do everyday. I hear it all the time. I think it’s a beautiful thing to be inspired by something or someone and to be motivated to do something about it so that for a brief moment that inspiration can mean something.
I must have been in 7th grade the moment I knew that books and writers inspired me. Where else could I drift away from my reality to a far away land? I remember the exact moment I was inspired to want to write. I read “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost. I was mesmerized by the power of his words and the fact that millions of people were reading his words even though he had written it in 1920. How wonderful it felt to know that someone can be immortalized by writing down their thoughts. It was so inspiring. The poem has always been a reflection of my life and the way I make choices.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
After that there was no stopping me. I absorbed the works of hundreds of writers and poets and I had a passion for the classics. My favorite novel will always be “The Count of Monte Cristo” by Alexandre Dumas, it’s a great story of inspiration and perseverance despite persecution. My son is named after the author. I have since been inspired to write hundreds of poems and start many stories myself, I had the drive and the motivation to pursue my craft and not cast it aside. I wanted the decade of my twenties to be about the rewards of fulfilling my writing dream.
Instead, life happened, and my choices changed the course of my dreams.
It’s never too late though, right? That’s what everyone says. Will I find the inspiration again to motivate myself to pen the words that live inside my head?
Stay tuned.
~A
Monday, February 1, 2010
The Journey of Our Lives
We move through life with a sense of wonder and we really don’t know what is in store for us, because the future is constantly changing. We have heard it many times, tomorrow is not promised and we can make plans for the future, but things can be taken away in an instant.
What I love most about life and the people I’ve gotten to know through the years, is that I get to witness what people do with the gifts that God gave us. I am not overly religious, but I do believe in a higher power and purpose. No one is here by accident, and the beginning, middle, and end of our lives are not written in stone. We have our free will, our internal conscience, and the power to set the course of our destinies. I get inspired easily and am constantly changing because everything to me is a marvel: the sad moments, the happy celebrations, and the quiet peace that comes from my inner solace when I ponder my own destiny.
So how do we find the journey of our lives? How do we know what is good for us and what is good for others? For everyone it’s different, because we do live in a world made up of unique personalities, even if when it comes down to it, we are all somewhat within the boundaries of a “type.”
Some of us are extroverts or introverts, some of us can be judgmental, self-righteous, ego-maniacs, or type “A” personalities. Others of us can be pleasers, goal-oriented, self-sufficient, independent, driven, passive, meek, or humble. Then there are many of us who can be clingy, complainers, procrastinators, aggressive, or angry. But I think that all those traits do complement each other. How else could we all possibly learn from each other and grow, even if sometimes we just can’t get along?
Relationships are a balance of personalities. At our places of employment we have to work with people every day who fit any of those traits, we have to get along, or at least try to get along, with people who normally may not be people we interact with on a regular basis.
Friendships and love relationships are more complex. Those relationships require a lot more time and investment. We know initially if the person is someone we want to get to know or not, we know if there is chemistry or if we found something in each other that just clicked. That initial driver is what prompts a relationship to develop, and the parties involved, given how much time they invest into it, will be the ones who can get to know each other the best.
Our first real relationships are with our parents; they are pretty much responsible for who we will grow up to be. Although it may sound that the whole weight of the world is on a parent’s shoulders, the reality is that as parents, we are responsible for teaching our children how to build future relationships. Our parents, who also have personality traits of their own, will influence how our traits develop, but it isn’t guaranteed. Sometimes, despite a parent’s best efforts, a child can choose a whole different course for his life, whether for good or for bad.
I believe that our parents and our childhood may initially teach us who we could grow up to be. But somewhere along the way, once we can ascertain what the expectations are for our lives, that course could change. We can gain control and decide what we want out of life for ourselves. But nothing is etched in stone; we can all change, stay the same, or peel layers of our own traits to fit the stage of life that we’re in.
Hope is in everything we do. We can allow people to hurt us, to love us, to trust us, to destroy us, but when we figure out the moral to our own stories, we decide how we were affected by those people, how we pick ourselves up, and how we stay encouraged. Only we can decide who we are and if we are the people we want to live with for the rest of our lives.
~A
What I love most about life and the people I’ve gotten to know through the years, is that I get to witness what people do with the gifts that God gave us. I am not overly religious, but I do believe in a higher power and purpose. No one is here by accident, and the beginning, middle, and end of our lives are not written in stone. We have our free will, our internal conscience, and the power to set the course of our destinies. I get inspired easily and am constantly changing because everything to me is a marvel: the sad moments, the happy celebrations, and the quiet peace that comes from my inner solace when I ponder my own destiny.
So how do we find the journey of our lives? How do we know what is good for us and what is good for others? For everyone it’s different, because we do live in a world made up of unique personalities, even if when it comes down to it, we are all somewhat within the boundaries of a “type.”
Some of us are extroverts or introverts, some of us can be judgmental, self-righteous, ego-maniacs, or type “A” personalities. Others of us can be pleasers, goal-oriented, self-sufficient, independent, driven, passive, meek, or humble. Then there are many of us who can be clingy, complainers, procrastinators, aggressive, or angry. But I think that all those traits do complement each other. How else could we all possibly learn from each other and grow, even if sometimes we just can’t get along?
Relationships are a balance of personalities. At our places of employment we have to work with people every day who fit any of those traits, we have to get along, or at least try to get along, with people who normally may not be people we interact with on a regular basis.
Friendships and love relationships are more complex. Those relationships require a lot more time and investment. We know initially if the person is someone we want to get to know or not, we know if there is chemistry or if we found something in each other that just clicked. That initial driver is what prompts a relationship to develop, and the parties involved, given how much time they invest into it, will be the ones who can get to know each other the best.
Our first real relationships are with our parents; they are pretty much responsible for who we will grow up to be. Although it may sound that the whole weight of the world is on a parent’s shoulders, the reality is that as parents, we are responsible for teaching our children how to build future relationships. Our parents, who also have personality traits of their own, will influence how our traits develop, but it isn’t guaranteed. Sometimes, despite a parent’s best efforts, a child can choose a whole different course for his life, whether for good or for bad.
I believe that our parents and our childhood may initially teach us who we could grow up to be. But somewhere along the way, once we can ascertain what the expectations are for our lives, that course could change. We can gain control and decide what we want out of life for ourselves. But nothing is etched in stone; we can all change, stay the same, or peel layers of our own traits to fit the stage of life that we’re in.
Hope is in everything we do. We can allow people to hurt us, to love us, to trust us, to destroy us, but when we figure out the moral to our own stories, we decide how we were affected by those people, how we pick ourselves up, and how we stay encouraged. Only we can decide who we are and if we are the people we want to live with for the rest of our lives.
~A
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
What’s in a Race?
Many Americans today have more than one culture, ethnicity, or race flowing through their veins. For some, their race is what defines them or makes them unique. The issue of race is an interesting topic, and I don’t really think about it too much, except yesterday it became obvious that I felt like someone without a race.
Since I can only speak from my experience as a Mexican-American person, I must say that I actually find it difficult sometimes to balance my life on both sides of the fence. I am loyal and respectful to the reasons why my ancestors chose to come to the United States in the 1960s and I am grateful to have the opportunities I have today, but I also feel a sense of reverence to the history and plight of the Mexican people.
Those of my generation and after have had great opportunities to be able to live and prosper in this country, but there are also many who may question my opinions, struggles, and choices. I have a strong need to be a person of value who can contribute to this society in more ways than one. No one is perfect, none of this is personal, and I have nothing against my fellow Mexicans, but it saddens me to see that many of us still live within our cultural limitations and fall within the stereotypes that prejudices have defined for us.
I will address the issues I have with our lack of growth as a people at another time, but for now, I would like to write about the fact that I felt like a person without a race yesterday. At work, we had to fill out new personal data forms, and I encountered this section on the form:
Please check the appropriate category:
Ethnicity:
Hispanic or Latino ___
Not Hispanic or Latino ___
Race:
Black or African American ___
White ___
American Indian or Alaskan Native ___
Asian ___
Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander ___
Two or More Races ___
You probably see my dilemma, and you may think that it’s cut and dry. I can choose my ethnicity as Hispanic or Latino and I can pick one of the races listed or leave the question blank. But it’s not that easy for me, because I am Mexican-American, my parents and grandparents are all from Mexican descent, so none of these options make sense to me. So this intrigued me and I did a little research. According the U.S. Census Bureau, the form at work was missing this category:
Peace Out for now.
~A
Since I can only speak from my experience as a Mexican-American person, I must say that I actually find it difficult sometimes to balance my life on both sides of the fence. I am loyal and respectful to the reasons why my ancestors chose to come to the United States in the 1960s and I am grateful to have the opportunities I have today, but I also feel a sense of reverence to the history and plight of the Mexican people.
Those of my generation and after have had great opportunities to be able to live and prosper in this country, but there are also many who may question my opinions, struggles, and choices. I have a strong need to be a person of value who can contribute to this society in more ways than one. No one is perfect, none of this is personal, and I have nothing against my fellow Mexicans, but it saddens me to see that many of us still live within our cultural limitations and fall within the stereotypes that prejudices have defined for us.
I will address the issues I have with our lack of growth as a people at another time, but for now, I would like to write about the fact that I felt like a person without a race yesterday. At work, we had to fill out new personal data forms, and I encountered this section on the form:
Please check the appropriate category:
Ethnicity:
Hispanic or Latino ___
Not Hispanic or Latino ___
Race:
Black or African American ___
White ___
American Indian or Alaskan Native ___
Asian ___
Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander ___
Two or More Races ___
You probably see my dilemma, and you may think that it’s cut and dry. I can choose my ethnicity as Hispanic or Latino and I can pick one of the races listed or leave the question blank. But it’s not that easy for me, because I am Mexican-American, my parents and grandparents are all from Mexican descent, so none of these options make sense to me. So this intrigued me and I did a little research. According the U.S. Census Bureau, the form at work was missing this category:
- Some Other Race. Includes all other responses not included in the "White", "Black or African American", "American Indian and Alaska Native", "Asian" and "Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander" race categories described above. Respondents providing write-in entries such as multiracial, mixed, interracial, We-Sort, or a Hispanic/Latino group (for example, Mexican, Puerto Rican, or Cuban) in the "Some other race" category are included here.
Peace Out for now.
~A
Monday, January 4, 2010
The Spontaneity Factor
Happy New Year!
I’ve heard a few adjectives about myself in the last couple of weeks, and I wanted to address the root of those comments. I have been told that I am “negative,” “rebellious,” “unstructured,” "impulsive," and “unruly.”
I beg to differ.
I grew up with rules all my life. I was taught at an early age what time bed time was, what time dinner was, what the duties of the week were, versus the activities left for the weekend. I grew up in a Mexican-American Catholic household, so there were always rules! There was a time and place for everything… no T.V., no soda, few friends, no phone calls, no visiting people’s houses, no after-school activities, always do my chores, be respectful, respect my elders, and always know what was appropriate for a "girl" to do and not to do.
So I have all those invaluable lessons ingrained in my inner core. It’s just that something happened when I left home at age 16. I made up my own rules as I went along.
I do know what is appropriate.
I do respect those who respect me.
I am sensitive to the needs of others.
I listen attentively to people’s problems.
I offer advice when asked.
I respect others’ routines.
I value education and work ethic.
I am a perfectionist.
I think I am a good person, overall.
But... I am also spontaneous, lively, a little on the wild side, and I like to have fun. So…
I like to go grocery shopping at midnight.
I go to restaurants in the middle of the week.
I get in the car and travel 100 miles without hesitation, if I have to.
I can get on a plane within a few hours notice.
I can adjust my sleep – less or more – depending on what I have time for.
I plan and readjust plans all the time.
I visit friends on a Monday evening.
I record/DVR any shows I want to watch and fast forward through all the commercials.
I don’t have a set bed time hour.
I don’t have a routine.
I go to the movies in the middle of the week.
I don’t set my life in stone.
I can do almost anything in a minute’s notice.
I adapt quickly to change.
I try not to sweat the small stuff.
I encourage others to be spontaneous.
I have a “live and let live” philosophy.
I believe that as long as I am living a healthy life and not hurting anyone, there is no reason for anyone to begrudge my bohemian lifestyle. I crave change and have a short attention span, so spontaneity is my comfort zone. I feel restrained by routine if I were to follow the rules set in my childhood. So, in 2010, as I factor in my goals for change, one thing I will not let go of is my need for freedom.
~A
I’ve heard a few adjectives about myself in the last couple of weeks, and I wanted to address the root of those comments. I have been told that I am “negative,” “rebellious,” “unstructured,” "impulsive," and “unruly.”
I beg to differ.
I grew up with rules all my life. I was taught at an early age what time bed time was, what time dinner was, what the duties of the week were, versus the activities left for the weekend. I grew up in a Mexican-American Catholic household, so there were always rules! There was a time and place for everything… no T.V., no soda, few friends, no phone calls, no visiting people’s houses, no after-school activities, always do my chores, be respectful, respect my elders, and always know what was appropriate for a "girl" to do and not to do.
So I have all those invaluable lessons ingrained in my inner core. It’s just that something happened when I left home at age 16. I made up my own rules as I went along.
I do know what is appropriate.
I do respect those who respect me.
I am sensitive to the needs of others.
I listen attentively to people’s problems.
I offer advice when asked.
I respect others’ routines.
I value education and work ethic.
I am a perfectionist.
I think I am a good person, overall.
But... I am also spontaneous, lively, a little on the wild side, and I like to have fun. So…
I like to go grocery shopping at midnight.
I go to restaurants in the middle of the week.
I get in the car and travel 100 miles without hesitation, if I have to.
I can get on a plane within a few hours notice.
I can adjust my sleep – less or more – depending on what I have time for.
I plan and readjust plans all the time.
I visit friends on a Monday evening.
I record/DVR any shows I want to watch and fast forward through all the commercials.
I don’t have a set bed time hour.
I don’t have a routine.
I go to the movies in the middle of the week.
I don’t set my life in stone.
I can do almost anything in a minute’s notice.
I adapt quickly to change.
I try not to sweat the small stuff.
I encourage others to be spontaneous.
I have a “live and let live” philosophy.
I believe that as long as I am living a healthy life and not hurting anyone, there is no reason for anyone to begrudge my bohemian lifestyle. I crave change and have a short attention span, so spontaneity is my comfort zone. I feel restrained by routine if I were to follow the rules set in my childhood. So, in 2010, as I factor in my goals for change, one thing I will not let go of is my need for freedom.
~A
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
What’s a Dreamer to Do?
I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do differently in my life going forward, but I haven’t really thought about the details on how to go about making those changes. I had an interesting conversation today with a friend of mine and she so nicely reminded me that I tend not think about how to follow through with the ideas I come up with. So I started to think about all the wacky enterprising ideas I have had in the past.
I admit I have a small problem with my short attention span. Don’t get me wrong, I am full of energy and great ideas, but I am not so full of initiative on how to implement those ideas and make them real.
I don’t know when or why I developed that bad trait. I had a lot of motivation and sense of urgency when I was younger. I planned and followed through as if my life and the life of my child depended on it. I waited for no one or nothing to make things happen. I made them happen. But lately, (the last ten or twelve years) I have been a little more complacent and nonchalant about what I want to tackle next. I think I just let things get in the way a lot. I like thinking about a new idea, planning it, researching it, and sharing it with my friends, who also think they are great ideas, then I encounter a hurdle, or I realize that the success of the idea will not be overnight and so the idea becomes short-lived and fizzles quickly.
So here are some great ideas that have fizzled over time:
Catering Business
So I thought I could be a really great cook, make a ton of food, and people would buy it. The problem is that even though I was inspired by “Top Chef,” I really don’t have a culinary background, I would need to get some kind of certification in food and safety, it is not legal to run a catering business from home, and I would have to market the business as well as invest a lot of money at the beginning. Not to mention, that I am only an average cook, I am better with smaller meals, and my strength is Mexican food.
This idea made a comeback recently when I thought I can create a “prepackaged” Mexican meal service, in which I would cook, prepackage it, and sell it as microwaveable meals. Yeah. Not such a great idea.
Ecommerce Site
My education and background are in user interface design, so I thought I could build a web site, make or find products to sell and put them online so everyone would flock to purchase them. The problem is that I didn’t know much about building a transactional site; I didn’t know what products to make or sell that people would want to buy. I didn’t have the funds to invest in building an inventory, and I never found the time to actually research what it would take to create an online store.
Selling Poems
Back when I discovered eBay, I thought, what could I sell on eBay that people would pay for, so, I thought I could write poems that people would want – customized for their mothers, or children, or for birthdays and holidays. I thought people would want to pay for a service like that, but after talking about it aloud with a friend, I thought this was a dumb idea.
Fashion Design
When “Project Runway” hit the airwaves, I got so excited at the possibility of designing and making clothes. I had done some sewing back when I was in high school, and I loved making my son’s Halloween costumes from sewing patterns every year, so I thought I would create and market a fashion line for women’s clothes. I actually bought some “how to sketch” and “history of fashion” books and embarked on trying to create a line. But I soon realized I couldn’t draw at all, and that I would have to sew without a pattern and the “outfits” were looking very similar on paper, so that idea went out the window.
Bilingual User Training and Web Site Design Firm
This one is bittersweet to remember, because this one actually did come to fruition. At first we did very well and the business concept seemed promising. The business had a location where I was training people to use different computer software packages and I even conducted training in Spanish. I had some solid web site clients and built some great relationships over the four years I had the company. But alas, the business ran its course; it was difficult to continue pushing for sales, and eventually I opted for full time employment. I consider it one of the high points in my life because I was able to fulfill the dream of having my own business, but it was a lot more difficult than I thought, and in the end, as revenues started to decline, it became too challenging to remain competitive.
It is difficult for all of us to see our imperfections, but I embrace the fact that we are all full of flaws. Although these are just some of the ideas that have noodled inside my head, I can attest that I have had plenty more. Some are fleeting instances of a flickering light bulb; others are deeper thoughts of “what if.” What I have learned about myself is that I never stop thinking about what I can do next, what I have to change is how I plan to make those things happen.
~A
I admit I have a small problem with my short attention span. Don’t get me wrong, I am full of energy and great ideas, but I am not so full of initiative on how to implement those ideas and make them real.
I don’t know when or why I developed that bad trait. I had a lot of motivation and sense of urgency when I was younger. I planned and followed through as if my life and the life of my child depended on it. I waited for no one or nothing to make things happen. I made them happen. But lately, (the last ten or twelve years) I have been a little more complacent and nonchalant about what I want to tackle next. I think I just let things get in the way a lot. I like thinking about a new idea, planning it, researching it, and sharing it with my friends, who also think they are great ideas, then I encounter a hurdle, or I realize that the success of the idea will not be overnight and so the idea becomes short-lived and fizzles quickly.
So here are some great ideas that have fizzled over time:
Catering Business
So I thought I could be a really great cook, make a ton of food, and people would buy it. The problem is that even though I was inspired by “Top Chef,” I really don’t have a culinary background, I would need to get some kind of certification in food and safety, it is not legal to run a catering business from home, and I would have to market the business as well as invest a lot of money at the beginning. Not to mention, that I am only an average cook, I am better with smaller meals, and my strength is Mexican food.
This idea made a comeback recently when I thought I can create a “prepackaged” Mexican meal service, in which I would cook, prepackage it, and sell it as microwaveable meals. Yeah. Not such a great idea.
Ecommerce Site
My education and background are in user interface design, so I thought I could build a web site, make or find products to sell and put them online so everyone would flock to purchase them. The problem is that I didn’t know much about building a transactional site; I didn’t know what products to make or sell that people would want to buy. I didn’t have the funds to invest in building an inventory, and I never found the time to actually research what it would take to create an online store.
Selling Poems
Back when I discovered eBay, I thought, what could I sell on eBay that people would pay for, so, I thought I could write poems that people would want – customized for their mothers, or children, or for birthdays and holidays. I thought people would want to pay for a service like that, but after talking about it aloud with a friend, I thought this was a dumb idea.
Fashion Design
When “Project Runway” hit the airwaves, I got so excited at the possibility of designing and making clothes. I had done some sewing back when I was in high school, and I loved making my son’s Halloween costumes from sewing patterns every year, so I thought I would create and market a fashion line for women’s clothes. I actually bought some “how to sketch” and “history of fashion” books and embarked on trying to create a line. But I soon realized I couldn’t draw at all, and that I would have to sew without a pattern and the “outfits” were looking very similar on paper, so that idea went out the window.
Bilingual User Training and Web Site Design Firm
This one is bittersweet to remember, because this one actually did come to fruition. At first we did very well and the business concept seemed promising. The business had a location where I was training people to use different computer software packages and I even conducted training in Spanish. I had some solid web site clients and built some great relationships over the four years I had the company. But alas, the business ran its course; it was difficult to continue pushing for sales, and eventually I opted for full time employment. I consider it one of the high points in my life because I was able to fulfill the dream of having my own business, but it was a lot more difficult than I thought, and in the end, as revenues started to decline, it became too challenging to remain competitive.
It is difficult for all of us to see our imperfections, but I embrace the fact that we are all full of flaws. Although these are just some of the ideas that have noodled inside my head, I can attest that I have had plenty more. Some are fleeting instances of a flickering light bulb; others are deeper thoughts of “what if.” What I have learned about myself is that I never stop thinking about what I can do next, what I have to change is how I plan to make those things happen.
~A
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