Trusting My Instincts

Trust
I was inspired to write this morning for many reasons. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the trust I have for the people I choose to surround myself with in my life.

I have the type of personality that I do instantly trust people, I give them the benefit of the doubt initially, much to my detriment. But thankfully, I have also been blessed with an acute gut instinct.

As the famous words say: Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

I’ve trusted my inner self more than I have trusted anyone else. I know how to read human behavior; I can analyze their actions, their words, their thoughts, and understand the reasons for the choices they make. The career I chose is because of that sensitivity to the cognitive mind, I have the ability to separate myself and stand back to see the story that develops in a person. Don’t get me wrong, I am human too; I make mistakes all the time. I can sense right from wrong, but sometimes I do make the wrong choices. Luckily, I can choose to learn from those mistakes to stop myself from repeating them.

I am fortunate to have a select few friends and family members I trust with my life. I know plenty of people, but I have layers of trust in which they exist in my world. I’ve also lived very guarded because I know that anything can change at anytime. People can change. I know this because I know what betrayal is. I have been betrayed and I have betrayed people in my past.

To err is human, I understand, and yes, I know, forgiveness is divine.

Space
Life is too short, I have lived my life doing the things I want to do because I want to do them, whether they made sense or not. I cherish every second and I don’t want to waste any time. But sometimes you need space and distance from the people in your life to be able to stand back and see what it is that makes us feel close to them. We have to be able to see what makes us trust them and need them to be a part of our lives. It’s important for me to feel safe and make others feel safe. When I feel uncomfortable or I don’t trust something, it’s because I don’t feel safe.

I have been a listener to the woes of others for the majority of my existence, but with that, I have absorbed the complexities that make up who they are to be able to learn through them the complexities that make up who I am.

So now I am pausing in my life for a moment to see what it is that needs adjusting. I am looking at how people have been treating me, the reasons why they need me, and the reasons why I need them. I want to see if I am making them happy and if they are making me happy.

Every relationship has to work for both parties, no matter what type of relationship it is. Whether you’re friends, cousins, siblings, parent-child, husbands, wives, dating, etc, every piece of the puzzle that makes the relationship whole has to be an important priority. Relationships break when the pieces aren’t working together harmoniously, those pieces may include trust, love, understanding, selflessness, happiness, peacefulness, ambition, communication, and whatever other pieces that have defined that relationship. Every element is significant and yes, I do look at the different pieces to make sure everything is in synch and if I am doing my part to keep the relationship solid.

I like taking a step back and allowing some space between my relationships. It allows me to think and cherish that person more. It allows me to remember the reasons why they are important to me and how I can make the relationship better. It helps me see the good in those people and why I need them, it also allows me to see if I have been good to them.

Sometimes the space ends in a parting of ways, and my thoughts of them are more nostalgic. Sometimes the space allows us to become better people and we cherish the roles we play in each other’s lives. Either way, I like people to know that I do think about everything, I do analyze the reasons why things happen, I do take comfort in the choices we make, and I do want to learn from mistakes to make our lives even better.

I do trust my gut instinct, that’s who I am.

Peace.

~A